I hope I haven't muddied the water too much already, but can't resist risking adding further mud to the mix with one more try...
Espresso it is easy to see when you are under or over extracting a shot, and it is easy to taste the consequences. Not everyone agrees as to the perfect extraction ratio, but we can talk about ristrettos, overloading, letting shots go long, etc. Adding water to it for an americano doesn't change the extraction rate, but does change the strength. Extraction rate and strength are obviously different.
In brewed coffee things are much harder. Without measuring everything, and then dehydrating the remaining grounds to get the final amount of mass that got extracted, (and hopefully went into the coffee) it is very hard to figure out how the extraction went.
The refractometer is just a way to back into this observation of the extraction, but we have to know the water:ratio to use the TDS shortcut since we measure the destination (in the cup) rather than the source. (in the grounds) Although it doesn't read TDS directly, the refractometer may be a better path to TDS in terms of accuracy than the conductivity meter you have that reports TDS directly. I know the SCAA recommends conductivity meters for TDS, but it might be screwing you up more than helping.